Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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