I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
