he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
