and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
