So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we have pet lesbian snakes
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
