I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
