Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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