apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just want to make out with him forever
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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