goodnight i made you a song goodbye
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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