MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
