dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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