I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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