Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
