theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
