i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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