I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Randomize
