so explain again why im purple
no
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
