are you still at the devil's house?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
