I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
