It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
