he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
