omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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