I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
