this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
