So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
