weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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