Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
