Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
