if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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