Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
