i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
