Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.