do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team