I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!