Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
what day is it and did you see me today?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.