Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize