SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.