we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
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If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
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Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world