quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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