Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
