just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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