dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
