so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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