You made me cry and you don't even care
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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