and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
