I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
