yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize