We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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