i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
