I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
