Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize