billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
