I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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