yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
