Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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