I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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