Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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