Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
