Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
