I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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