Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
