i just had sex bonerless
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No more Irish car bombs ever.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
