the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
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so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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