i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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