was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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