Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
