i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
