He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
